Monday, 16 January 2012

Nick Clegg is an Utter Arse

This is not a new revelation, but one that has been reinforced today with the dopey cretin's urging of companies to offer shares to their employees.

I know this may come as a shock to you, Nick, but being employed by a company doesn't mean that you are prohibited from owning shares in it. All you have to do is get up off your liberal arse, walk down to your bank and fucking well buy some. With your own bloody money. Why in the name of all things sane should a company give a discount on its share price to people just because it happens to employ them?

In fairness, he has recognised the problem: 'we don't believe our problem is too much capitalism - we think it's that too few people have capital.' Absolutely right, there. Perhaps if all of you dumb-bastard politicians hadn't been encouraging our economy to be built primarily on the driver of consumer demand, i.e. people spending all of their sodding money on shit they don't need, people would actually save and invest.

But, there is another teensy, weensy little factor.

Buying shares is quite a risky business. If the company goes bust, you are apt to lose all of the money you used to buy them. Some people are not prepared to accept this risk. In the financial services business, we call it (rather imaginatively) attitude to risk. And we are not allowed to recommend investments that are unsuitable to people's attitude to risk. And there are stringent penalties if we do.

But, no matter for that - here comes Cleggie, with absolutely no fucking idea of how investments work, or how people can cope with a risk/reward balance, and comes out with trite little statements encouraging people to buy shares.

NO, DIPSHIT. I know it probably hasn't occurred to you, but maybe, just maybe, IT'S A LITTLE BIT MORE FUCKING COMPLICATED THAN THAT.

If you want to encourage more people to own shares, for fuck's sake, DON'T give them a discount on buying something they don't understand and which could lead to them losing money! That is a recipe for disaster. My ideas:

  • Start EDUCATING people about financial services and investments. Kids coming out of school these days barely understand what a fucking current account is, so how the hell do you expect them to understand shares?
  • STOP building the economy on the assumption that everyone must spend all of their money on useless shit, and start shifting it towards an economy of thrift and investment. We've had two generations of rampant materialism - everyone has an iPod, but nobody has a retirement fund. Priorities, people.
  • Make it EASIER for people to save and invest. The best way is not always direct ownership of shares, but investing through pensions and ISAs into professionally managed investment funds, which pick the shares for you, mitigating some of the inherent risk. So reform pensions and increase ISA allowances.
  • Advocate people taking proper, INDEPENDENT FINANCIAL ADVICE, instead of bowing to the banking lobby and letting the masses get ripped off by the jackasses. I've seen some of their excuses for 'advice' - to say it's shoddy is like saying Hitler was a naughty boy.
Clegg. The twat.
 It's not fucking rocket science, you twat.

Sometimes, I fucking despair.