Wednesday, 1 February 2012

The Benefits Cap

I've read a lovely little article on the BBC about how how awful the benefits cap is, and how everyone is going to be impoverished by it. And they've included an example of a poor family who are going to be brutalised by these savage cuts.

Time to put on the fisking gloves.

'Raymond, a former educational software writer, has been jobless since 2001. His wife Katherine suffers from bipolar disorder with an anxiety disorder and is also unable to work.'

Workless since 2001? You're telling me that you haven't been able to find work from 2001 to 2008, during the biggest boom years the country's ever seen? Especially in software engineering, of which I have a background? It's a transferable skill - there's plenty of opportunities for software development. So that's what we call BULLSHIT.

'Says Ray: "The market for my skills dried up 10 years ago - there's a total lack of work in my area of expertise."'

So, if there's no work in your area - MOVE. LIKE EVERY OTHER POOR BASTARD HAS TO.

'The couple share their home with six of their children - their five-year-old son, Raymond's twin girls from his first marriage, and three of his wife's four children from an earlier relationship.'

So, your son was born in 2007? You'd been unemployed for 6 years, your wife suffers from bipolar disorder and anxiety, you already had 5 kids, you were already completely dependent on the State for your income, and you decided to have another kid? ARE YOU COMPLETELY FUCKING MENTAL?!

Now, here's a little breakdown of Raymond's WEEKLY income:

  • £87.30 Child Benefit
  • £301.10 Child Tax Credit
  • £100.00 Jobseeker's Allowance
  • £18.00 Council Tax Benefit
  • £76.00 Housing Benefit
  • £582.40 TOTAL
Yes, you read that right, folks. Nearly £600 a week. That's over £30,000 a year. For simply breeding and staying at home.

Next, let's have a look at Raymond's weekly outgoings:
  • £18.00 Council Tax - that's right, it's wholly paid for him
  • £76.00 Rent - this too. So, no rent, and no Council Tax
  • £38.00 Energy - I'm sorry, what? It costs me less than £100 a month to heat my house. Turn the fucking radiators off and wear a fucking jumper, you twat.
  • £15.00 Water - Odd that your water bill appears to cost 3 times as much as mine. If you're on a meter, fuck's sake, use less! If not, I suspect you're lying through your fucking teeth.
  • £15.00 Sky TV - Oho, Sky. That's £15 a week, so about £60 a month, then? Wow. You're not skimping, are you? Is this a life essential? No. This can be cancelled in its entirety. Get fucking Freeview, wanker.
  • £7.00 Phone & Internet - I'll let you off on these - that's about average, when all's said and done.
  • £32.00 Mobiles - Him and the wife, and 5 kids. Sorry, pal. Get real. Give the kids £10 a month on pay-as-you-go, and you and the missus give up the frigging iPhones and settle for Android instead. £20 a month contract each, plus the £50 for the kids ought to take this down to £22 a week.
  • £20.00 Entertainment - So you go out with your mates every Friday? Have a few beers? Tough shit, pal - you've got 6 kids. You'll have to make do with once a month. Slashed to £5. Deal with it.
  • £30.00 Public Transport - Justifiable, but it might actually cost you less to run a small car. £50 a month in fuel, £300 a year in insurance, £120 a year in road tax, plus £300 a year in maintenance, and you're still coming in at £25 a week.
  • £240.00 Weekly Shopping - which includes 24 cans of lager, 200 cigarettes and a large pouch of tobacco. 24 cans of lager a week? Fuck's sake, I hate to think what your liver's like! The weekly limit for blokes is 21 units - that's about 10 pints. So that halves your beer consumption. And as for the fags - they can bloody well go. Plus you can buy fucking Smart Price beans etc. I get by with me and my two kids on £200 a month. There's no reason you can't manage on £600 a month. That brings it in at £150 a week.
  • £91.00 Other - birthdays, Christmas, school uniforms and trips, clothing, shows and white goods. All sounds essential, but you're telling me you need £91 A WEEK?! That's nearly £5,000 A YEAR. £20 per kid per birthday, plus an extra £20 per kid for Christmas. That's £280, and we'll round it up to £300. School uniforms and clothes - £80 per kid per year, that's £480, say £500. School trips - £30 a year per kid. Another £200. Shows - that can just fucking GO, pal. Jesus. White goods - what, you need a new fridge every year? Don't think so. I'll give you £150 towards that and you shouldn't need it. That's £1,150. £22 a week. Not £91. Fuck's sake.

It's called money management, and when workers and pensioners have to do it, you have to as well.

So, on a quick income/expenditure analysis, we're looking at savings of £10 on your energy, £15 on Sky, £10 on mobiles, £15 on entertainment, £90 on shopping and £69 on other. Total weekly savings of £209 - that's over £10,000 a year. Some people earn fucking less than that for working full time.

With those adjustments, and the benefits cap applied, you'd still have an annual surplus of £6,500 a year. You can fucking well save that, to get yourself a god-damned house and alleviate the housing shortage for people who are in genuine need.

So, to anyone who says that the Benefits Cap is unfair, I simply say one word: BOLLOCKS.